Just last night at 12.30am.. i realised my mind is in a whole state of confusion that i had to psycho myself (before i go to sleep) that it cant be happening and won't be happening.. and seriously NO it cannot happen.. not allowed to and must not.. what is going on in that little mind of mine i cant say now.. but all i can say is the more time i spent there.. the more the other (which i also spend time on) seems gradually fading away in its importance.. this is not happening the first time.. it happened before on Sept/Oct 2003.. it cant be happening again.. NO IT WON'T.. i cant make the same mistake twice and drag everybody and everything associated down into it.. NOT AGAIN.. it'll only end up hurting everyone all over again..
And i landed in that turmoil this morning on the way to work in the bus during the time i'll usually sleep thru the journet.. the thoughts of last night came back.. and made me damn uncomfortable.. NOOOOoooooooo...
Plus, i really don't know what the others are thinking also.. i cant torture myself this way can i?!? I just need to get the right attitude back and everything will return to normal.. i'll continue to have what i have and not causing an stiring in the peaceful world of mine.. Only this way, everybody will be happy (which is what i seriously hope)...
~sign*
[[ The B.I.T.C.H ]]
:: alluring_pink ::
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